No No No....I won government and I should be PM

Despite the second worst primary vote in history for Labor I rightly declared myself the winner of the last election. A sort of PM in exile.

 

I did my lap of honour, the media embraced my comeback and for all intents and purposes I won the election.

 

If it wasn't for the Australian people I'd be PM now

I'm in stage one of my Prime Ministership and I intend to implement all my policies, except the budget savings one's I grabbed from the Liberals - not even I believed my bullshit on those!

The same sex plebiscite is off, carbon tax is coming back, we'll up spending, tax the rich and filthy business owners, look after my crooked buddies in the Unions and the best thing about it - it's all Malcolm's fault...the more I screw up this country the better my chance of becoming PM.

And that's all that matters!