Everyone knows I make it up, so please don't verbal me

Who does that homophobic Anglican think he is?

He accuses me of saying anyone opposing same sex marriage comes from under a rock. Of course I said it but I won't have it shoved back at me by some homophobic, under-rock dwelling, Anglican god botherer.

My position on same sex marriage is clear, I oppose whatever Malcolm Turnbull wants to do.

Anyone who wants to debate this is a homophobe and the Australian people couldn't get a general election right so there's no chance they'll land a plebiscite.

All the LGBTI's I meet want it, overwhelming support. I'm convinced the majority of Australian's want it, I just don't want to ask them.

Really, the last thing this country needs is an open debate on a major public issue. Who wants to hear an opposing view from the rock dwelling homophobes anyway? Debates generally lead to one side getting upset, I don't think Australian's can deal with that.

Let's see democracy at work as I get my team to tow the party line and drive this baby home.

 

No No No....I won government and I should be PM

Despite the second worst primary vote in history for Labor I rightly declared myself the winner of the last election. A sort of PM in exile.

 

I did my lap of honour, the media embraced my comeback and for all intents and purposes I won the election.

 

If it wasn't for the Australian people I'd be PM now

I'm in stage one of my Prime Ministership and I intend to implement all my policies, except the budget savings one's I grabbed from the Liberals - not even I believed my bullshit on those!

The same sex plebiscite is off, carbon tax is coming back, we'll up spending, tax the rich and filthy business owners, look after my crooked buddies in the Unions and the best thing about it - it's all Malcolm's fault...the more I screw up this country the better my chance of becoming PM.

And that's all that matters!

At one point I almost believed my own bullshit

As one of my heroes George Costanza once said, "it's not a lie if you believe it" and in the finish I almost did.

I've never been one who's big on integrity, ask Kevin & Julia, but Malcolm's plan to upgrade the Medicare payment system was likely to lead to a full collapse of Medicare, the closure of every hospital bed in Australia and Doctors abandoning their BMW's and heading straight for the airports.... all within a week of the coalition being re-elected.

Give me credit, millions of Australians believed it.

Leigh Sales was on to me -

fortunately my moronic constituency were watching cat videos on 7Mate  

 

http://www.abc.net.au/7.30/content/2016/s4488065.htm

Kevin is the best man to run the World.....seriously

Kevin is an Aussie and he speaks Chinese so he's the best qualified person I know to head up the United Nations. Forget that I once knifed him, he should lead the world...... I'm serious!

 

Flexible Bill - a man of real conviction

Aboriginal youth knows Bill is there to save you

Four Corners finished at 9.20pm and I was at the airport at 9.45pm to catch my flight to Darwin.

I couldn't get hold of a private jet this time, but just like I personally oversaw the rescue of Brant and Todd on Morning TV ten years ago, I knew I could do the same for these poor lads.

I rang Karl and Kochie at midnight and said I'd be there, outside the Don Dale Detention Centre from 6am. Ready for live crosses, I'd even do the weather on the half hour. 

 

Flexible Bill, the people's populist would discover Aboriginal Youth Detention and make it mine on Breakfast TV!

I'd nail the NT government and not politicise much of this shameful incident that occurred under Labor and my new local member. I'd talk that soft Elmer Fudd thing I do and she'd nod in background.

I'm here for you Aboriginal youth, at least until the press leave.